Week 4- Paddy

Week 4- Paddy 

18th August 2013, Manjit's, Corrimal

 

It's always strike me how much politics there is in the ordinary things of life. Bringing up children, making a garden- creating a morally sustainable existence - it's not all smooth sailing. There is always something or someone else's values which somehow make what you want to achieve more difficult. Paddy is the true exponent of this political activity I think. I've known Paddy for a while- like other people I know from the Illawarra - she's an enigmatic being even though she wears her heart on her sleeve.
We went to Manjit's Indian restaurant at Corrimal for dinner - it was my choice which happened to be one of her favourite restaurants.  I wasn't sure whether this was a "date". She put a little more effort than me dress wise. Paddy definitely has better dress sense.So it is comparing style versus tidiness.  What is a date anyway other than an interview to discover each others values. It can be a political event. From choosing the seating,inside or out on the balcony. Who orders the meal, the male or the female. The fact we know each other made this "date" a little less daunting but if it was I was struck by the roles  that were readily being assigned from the waiter, other patrons ,the cosmos and ourselves. Here's the thing ...once we quickly and mutually agreed that a bottle of red merlot would be ordered, ceremoniously poured by the waiter and tentatively sipped throughout the sumptuous meal our thoughts,feelings, personal and family history, professional goals, shocking gossip, parental issues  all seamlessly revealed themselves like a well choreographed dance to the beat of incessant chatter from the next table all under the glare of an overhead heater.

I learnt Paddy's leftist political leanings were somewhat inspired by her right leaning parents. Mother introduced her to the young liberals when she and her values was still seen as malleable and ready for privatisation.  Lucky for humanity Paddy quickly saw and rebelled- we agreed that if you really followed a long term capitalist view of returning the best economic return then you would naturally be drawn towards the renewable and sustainable technologies. We agreed that greed is the most likely motivator for the right..suck the earth dry and spit out the pip in the eyes of the struggling!!
But beyond politics we changed the course of discussion to our respective change of careers. The whys and wherefores in how I got into nursing and Paddy studying midwifery. I am still amazed that I have become a nurse- it feels the most natural thing to do after years of struggling with the idea of " what I want to be". It offers so much scope and I did share that one day I could find myself in a rural hospital or even overseas searching for meaning and connectedness to other people being the prime motivators. Paddy could see the same thing for herself. She said she was amazed how she even got into midwifery course being so sought after  but, from knowing Paddy , I could see she has the determination and drive to make the difference in people's lives.I was pretty impressed by her ability to conjure up realities from affirmation. Presently, she is working on getting enough money to go to Asia.

A few more sips and gossip slips out- parental issues, the consequences of following one's hormones and what that has brought to our respective lives. What base level of morality people reach to make their own self esteem feel more polished and bright. I despise injustice, I crave peace and avoid conflict - not great characteristics. But here we were discussing children, as the adults they were becoming and it had to be asked .. Where did that time go?

Even on the drive back from the restaurant Paddy managed to share more of her personal life. The manner in which she offered, spoke of her trust in me and maybe a little of the amount of red wine she consumed. There's a line when an acquaintance turns into friendliness. Paddy's trust and  the willingness  to step over that line always risks becoming vulnerable. Wearing your heart on your sleeve is a humanitarian and eventually a political act.  Becoming the change you want to see occur in the world takes values, courage and constant affirmation. It's something I struggle with - do I let people in my world? I think I do but obviously  I edit, filter and sanitise. I SPIN ( Seeing  Positive In Negativity ) and SNIP ( Seeing   Negativity  In Positive). I suppose if one of those truths were to be revealed  it would be the sad case that I , except under the inducement of hormones, have never really ever being in love- never actually been seen for what I feel I really am..Not sure if that is attainable but I do think that truly knowing yourself lends itself to attracting like minded and like hearted people.

I am very grateful for Paddy being in my circle of friends - strong, compassionate, fearless- I await and support her making more waves. I came out from our dinner date  feeling like a sister in both sense of the words.